A few weeks ago I saw a show on television that was featuring a mother and her family. The mother was being interviewed on raising her children with what she believes is important in the world. She talked about good morals, manners, values, and education; the normal response for a parent, hoping that they are raising their children to be good people that can provide value to the world.
There is nothing negative to be said of the above, but then the mother continued on with the interview saying that she does not value or even see value in fashion, trends, or the way a person looks. The mother said that the inner being of her children far outweighed the outer shell.
While I think this is a common ideal, that what really matters is the person not the way the person looks. There are numerous quotes on the outside not being as important as the inside:
- “The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul.” – Audrey Hepburn
- “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ― Kahlil Gibran
- “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” – English idiom
Of course there are some famous quotes about outward beauty as well, just to name a few cause I enjoy quotes:
- “The world’s biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.” – Chanakya
- “Beauty awakens the soul to act.” – Dante Alighieri
- “A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.” – George Meredith
As a southern girl raised with the idea to always have yourself put together when you walk out in public, I think it is completely and utterly important to raise children, especially young girls, with the idea that looking the part can do a lot for her.
I do not think that a parent should teach their child that looks are number 1 priority, but I think it is shameful for a parent to teach a child that looks are never a priority.
Here are my reasons:
1.) Society has standards.
–Raising a child to think that looks do not matter, not important, not a priority is only setting a child up for future bullying, or let downs, teasing, etc. In the high school ages, children only see outward appearance because they have not experienced life in a way that makes them see the inner beauty of people. This is why more teasing happens in junior and senior high school. Children do not understand when they see a girl with messy crazy hair and baggy, wrinkled clothes, no makeup on in the years that girls begin to experiment with makeup that it is because the parents are instilling an “inner” beauty. Children are ruthless, non-thinking, and sometimes cruel creatures. Teenagers will find any reason to make fun of other children, we all as adults should already know this by now. Telling a child to never ever worry about how they look are setting up potential teasing and other emotional problems because of the bullying or teasing.
2.) First Impressions matter.
–When I worked in retail and aided my managers in choosing and scoping out future employees, the look and style had everything to do with a yes or a no. As a communications, public relations, student the very first thing we were told on day one was to know what we look like to other people, professionally, networking-wise, and personally. Company’s are not only hiring someone to answer phones or type e-mails. Every person that is a potential employee is seen as the face of the company, a representative, a model of the company. Is the company going to want someone who cannot do their hair, makeup, dress appropriately with the same exact credentials as someone that presents themselves in a nice way and can look like they do not get dressed in the dark? The company is going to choose a more attractive person because frankly, they are more memorable.
— While I think many people rule this out as a personality trait, I do not totally believe that. I believe that I am a fairly attractive woman. I have been told all my life that I am attractive, I have great features, genes, etc. But I can totally admit that I do not have a lot of confidence, I am not insecure by any means, but I do not exude confidence. When I have myself put together and I feel that I look pretty and think I look good, my confidence automatically rises. When I was in the charity fashion show last week, although I am a trained model, I was so nervous and scared and worried but when I had my hair and makeup done and got my outfits on, I was perfect. If I may toot my own horn, I killed the runway. I truly believe because I felt that when I looked in the mirror I was beautiful and that others would think I looked good, so my confidence raised.
While I do not think that visible beauty is the most important thing to teach a child, because that can cause a cocky person instead of a confident person, I do think that it should be on the radar of what a parent should teach a child. I do not think it is fair to an innocent child that a parent puts their beliefs of physical beauty on them when it is blatantly obvious that today’s society values the outward appearance, even if you want to believe that that is stupid, that we value beauty, you cannot deny that it is a part of our society. Our jobs as parents, future parents, role models are to help a child earn, receive, and walk away with anything and everything we can to make them successful. It is just time that everyone accepts it that looks matter!